In My End You Are My Beginning
by theletterdee
Summary: When the Ark is dying, the 100 sent to the ground, and the clock ticking for the rest of the Ark population, Abby, Marcus, and six others in space and down on Earth wake up one day with an extreme migraine and soon start seeing and experiencing thoughts and emotions not their own. As they explore their newfound abilities, our favorite duo have to maneuver a whole new playing field.
1. Ai ste seintaim Oso

Fire burned in her lungs. It echoed in her legs as she ran, uncaring of the branches whipping her face or tangling in her hair. She had to keep going. She had to get as far away as possible before it happened.

Pain seared up her spine, lancing white-hot behind her eyes as she muffled her cry. It couldn't be happening yet, she still needed time.

Time that she did not have.

"Somer."

Relief washed over her like cool water from a spring and she stumbled to her knees, "Thelonious."

"Somer, it's time." Cool, dry hands pushed her tangled hair away from her face and she leaned into them. Leaned into the comfort Thelonious offered even if he wasn't physically in front of her.

The damp leaves and roots below her faded suddenly to hard, cold metal floors and an unnatural light. Somer opened her eyes and met his, those dark brown eyes that she could lose herself forever in. They steadied her.

"I can't," she whispered.

"You can." Thelonious' hands tightened minutely as he continued, "You must."

"They'll be hunted, Thelonious, it would only be a matter of time."

"Not all," he reasoned, "and they'll be hunted if they're born or not. You and I both know how she is."

" _Finrona_ ," Somer spat out as another wave of pain traveled through her body. She reached up for comfort and Thelonious steadied her. Squeezing his hands, and concentrating on his calming words, Somer slinked back to her own body and away from Thelonious' home, to the darkened forest of the earth.

"We'll keep them hidden, Somer, as best we can."

"Stay with me?" She whispered.

"Always."

"Okay… okay," Somer nodded and concentrated on breathing through the pain. She wasn't ready and she wasn't sure the new cluster she was birthing would be ready either, but there was no more time. No more time to run, no more time to hide.

"I'm here, Somer, I'm not leaving." Thelonious leaned his forehead against hers.

"Surely you have more important things to do."

"Not right now, I don't. Nothing is more important right now that ensuring this cluster is born and lives."

"But your people-"

"They have a few days before the vote, we have at least some time."

Another lance of pain shot up her spine and Somer cried out. Thelonious shifted to sit behind her and steadied her as the pains became more frequent. She gritted her teeth and tried to stay as quiet as she possibly could, but pain overrode her senses as it arched her back to the point that she felt it pop.

"I see them! Thelonious, I see them!"

A woman about her age, surrounded by the blue-white artificial light that she so often associated with Thelonious. Straight black hair framed a face that easily smiled, but the joy never reached her sad brown eyes. She'd seen this woman before, in the presence of Thelonious sometimes and others. Somer admired her quick wit. The sudden appearance of Somer in the middle of the hallway brought the woman to a full stop and those sad eyes lit up with confusion and curiosity. Somer smiled. _Callie._

Another woman, also on the space city, wearing a worn dark blue coat and her honey-brown hair pulled into a singular braid over one shoulder. Her dark brown eyes shone with a kindness, but did not hide a steel lying underneath, fortunate for a healer. Somer was familiar with this woman as well, she was a frequent visitor of Thelonious, their families intertwined for years. She was strong, and would continue to be, in the face of adversity. The woman _fisa_ looked up at Somer and their eyes met after a double take. _Abby_.

The third of the new cluster also lived on the Ark, Somer wondered how many lived up under Thelonious' guidance. This one was a man, dark brown eyes that seemed cold, but probing deeper, Somer saw the roiling emotions with each decision he made. His dark hair was smoothed back from his face, except for a stubborn curl as he looked over a flat device with a frown. Those guarded eyes widened in alarm at the sight of her, but he did not flinch. _Marcus_.

Golden sunlight streaming through a still lingering mist and vivid green greeted her with the next in the cluster. There were so many trees, so much green, and Somer looked around in wonder before she centered on the woman before her. This one she recognized. This was one of _Heda'_ s top generals. A flash of silver warned Somer of impending danger, but she did not flinch when the knife stopped inches from her neck, for she was not really there. It heartened Somer, to see such nerve and strength. The new cluster would need it in the coming days. The warrior before her narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but stood her ground. _Indra_.

More green, darker, wilder, and shadowed in the lavender-grey light of the pre-dawn surrounded Somer. Woods that she did not recognize, the breeze marked by a coolness that reminded her of home, and the slight tang of salt that did not. The whisper of leaves brushing against fabric alerted Somer to someone else's presence. She turned and the tip of a fire-hardened arrow greeted her followed quickly by the steady gaze of its wielder. The arrow did not drop from the line of sight, but a flicker of recognition passed across the woman's face in realization of what was happening. Somer smiled. _Almi_.

Blistering cold and bare trees surrounded her and the pounding in her chest filled her ears. She knew this place. She knew this place very well and worry carved out a hollow in her soul at the thought of one of her children here in the center of _Azgeda_. It was just as she remembered it in her trips as a runner. Lively was the last word used to describe the northern isolated clan, but the bustling market around her breathed a life into the monochromatic city. Bright colors of food, fabric, and shining metal assaulted her eyes, the smell of mulled wine and roasting meat filled her nose, and for a moment she forgot the brutality of the Ice Nation as a whole and saw the people underneath. Her next charge was at the heart of it all, sorting through piles of herbs and ingredients as another man stole an arm around his waist. Their eyes met through the haze of periodic fires and cooking fumes and they shared a smile. _Toron_.

The cold and slight flurry of snow melted seamlessly into a low simmering heat she'd never felt before. The sky above her held the dark blue and purple of those moments just before dawn with the eastern horizon slowly brightening as the rising sun dyed the clouds and sky in more vibrant colors. The wind reminded her of the air near a fire, hot and tight against her skin as it stirred the red-orange earth beneath her feet. A woman knelt as the sun crept over the horizon, the breeze tousling her long brown hair and the ends of her blue, red, and yellow shawl. Her arms stretched towards the sky, palms up in reverence and thanks as words fell from her mouth, intricate and almost melodical. Years of practice shone through as she prayed, even as she opened her eyes and saw Somer. The prayers didn't stop, but at the woman's slow nod, Somer smiled. _Nix_.

The heat and the pink of a new dawn vanished and Somer was back on the Ark, surrounded by cold metal, a hum of machines, and the blue-white light of the skaistegeda. This part of it was different from what she usually saw with Thelonious. The metal plates were darker, dirtier, more exposed power panels, ramshackle patches, and brightly colored wires. Carts of different parts crowded this large thoroughfare, but the various people walking through it dodged them expertly with the ease of habit. One man stood among them, wearing a dark blue coat similar to Abby, but stained with a dark fluid, frayed at the seams and cuffs, and patched with lighter fabric. In one hand he held a device similar to Marcus, and the other he directed others off in many directions. A leader in his own right, he paused when he saw her standing off to the side, but quickly finished his explanation to the person in front of him. Tilting his head to one side as he eyed her curiously, he waved. Somer couldn't help the light laugh that escaped her as she waved back. _Jacopo_.

She flitted between all of her new children one last time before all too soon she arrived back in her own body, hair slick with sweat and shivering in the cool morning air. "Protect them, Thelonious."

"I will," He helped her stand and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Now run."

And she did.

* * *

She rested her forehead on the cool panel in front of her in Earth Monitoring, trying to sleep through the ongoing pain in her head, but definitely losing this battle. The migraine was going on day three now, with no apparent end in sight. One would think the Chief Medical Officer could handle a headache, or at least treat one, but nothing she did made it go away. So Abby tried her best to get through each day monitoring the kids, treating oxygen deprivation symptoms to the Ark citizens all the while lying to them about when the air would be fixed, and bothering Raven about the pod to Earth.

 _Earth_.

It still seemed like a dream, but it was a reality. Survivable, at least she thought so, others… not so much. Kane was still being an ass about everything dealing with the 100 sent down to Earth and other things on the Ark. At least she successfully deterred his suspicions of why she went to the section of the Ark where Raven was currently working on the century old pod with his fear of needles. (For once, Abby was glad they were friends growing up and therefore had a weird mix of knowledge about the head of security rattling around her brain even after they drifted apart, and then fell apart.)

She sighed and gingerly lifted her head, one of her hands coming to her temple and lightly rubbing. Abby really should be getting back to medical, be somewhere that Raven could get to without suspicion… or maybe she should just go down to the small section where the pod sat. It was quieter there than in the bustling med bay.

"Hey, darling," a slightly cool hand rubbed the back of her neck and Abby relaxed a bit. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Abby huffed a laugh, "but then, I'm always tired these days. What about you? Still got that headache?"

Callie nodded as she slid into Abby's view, "Yeah, you too?"

"Still hasn't gone away and nothing helps, not even sleep."

"Not that you even sleep lately," her best friend teased.

"I'll sleep when I'm dead, you know that, CeCe."

"That I do, Abs, that I do."

Both of them looked at each other for a long moment, and then burst into giggles. For a suspended second in time, they were children again, giggling in school, then they were teenagers, holding hushed conversations away from prying eyes and sitting just a little too close. But it was over too soon and the giggles died off as they shifted back into their present state of wearied adulthood and the impending death of 300 people looming over their heads if Raven's task didn't work.

"I should get to Medical, Callie," Abby sighed. "Would you stay and watch over the kids?"

Callie's hand, the palm lightly calloused and cool to the touch, landed on her own and squeezed gently. "Of course, Abby. I'll alert you if anything changes."

"Thank you."

With a last look at Clarke's darkened tile, Abby left Earth Monitoring and swept down the hallway towards Medical. She winced slightly whenever a particularly bright light hit her eyes, sending a lance of pain down her neck and shoulders. Why did the original builders of this space station feel the need for so many bright lights that flared unnecessarily? Still, she pushed on and parted the plastic curtain to see an anxious looking Raven shifting her weight from foot to foot while Jackson eyed the mechanic over his shoulder.

"Jackson, could you give us a moment, please?" She raised her eyebrows at the other doctor and he nodded. Before he fully left Medical, he shot a curious glance behind him at the two of them, and then they were alone.

"Why are you here?" Abby asked Raven, keeping her voice down in case anyone else came in unexpectedly.

"I messed up, Abby. I couldn't get the part."

She felt her stomach drop and suddenly she felt cold, colder than she'd ever felt on the Ark in her life. She breathed in and the air smelled sweet, cold, and slightly acrid like when a wire shorted out, but this was pleasant and comforting. She felt at home at the same time out of place.

 _White powder lined the beaten earthen path as she walked towards a bustling market. The sweet, earthy scent of herbs caught her senses and she looked down to see a large woven basket made out of branches, saplings, and brightly colored wires interspersed for decoration in her hands filled to the brim with different herbs that were familiar… and yet unknown._

 _The brisk smell of snow on dark, rich earth was cut by a spicy sweet scent that perked her interest. The heady smell wandered down the path from the open pavilion surrounded by random bonfires, booths of varying wares, and the robust laughter of gathering crowds._

 _It was home and yet… alien._

"Abby?" Raven's gentle hand on her shoulder startled Abby and she was back on the Ark. it felt more claustrophobic than she'd ever experienced.

"You couldn't get the part?" Abby pushed the weird feeling from her thoughts and focused on the task at hand.

* * *

Abby knew what she had to do, but the strange experience from before made her hesitate. Time was not on her side and the impending deaths of three hundred people loomed over her head if this didn't work. She needed guidance.

She needed Vera.

Making her way through the Ark, Abby found Vera Kane tending to the Eden Tree. Their eyes met and for a second, Vera appeared younger and a small Marcus stood next to her as they watered the tiny remnant of Earth. As quickly as the vision came, it disappeared.

"Abby, honey," Vera's smile and welcoming hug warmed her instantly. "What brings you down here?"

"I… I'd like to talk to you."

"Walk with me," Vera curled an arm around Abby's shoulders and drew her away from the common area. They walked in silence for a bit before Vera squeezed her shoulder, "Migraine still bothering you?"

"Yes…" Abby looked up at the older woman in surprise. She'd never told Vera about the migraine.

"Mine was like that too, when it finally ended after a few days I sobbed in relief."

Abby stopped short, her jaw dropping. "Y-you?" She finally managed to squeak out. "You too?"

Vera's hands were warm against her cheeks and her smile comforting, "Yes."

"The headache, the strange sensations of things you've never felt before?"

"Yes and so much more. Oh Abby, my dear, your world is about to expand beyond what you've ever dreamed. It's unsettling, I know, but soon you'll be experiencing thoughts, emotions, and memories that are not your own and yet are at the same time."

"Who else?"

"I don't know," Vera shrugged as she dropped her hands. "You'll find out soon, I know that."

Abby nodded, trying to process all that Vera's told her. "Vera," she finally looked up, "what are we?"

"Sensates, or _homo sensorium_ , are beings capable of connecting with others on a level not known to human beings. Each sensate is born to a cluster at the same time, usually clusters are those born on the same day years before. Clusters are able to visit and share with each other from the moment they are reborn as sensates. Sensates from different clusters, like us, have to make physical eye contact to later visit each other. We've existed for thousands of years on Earth before the fall and now on the Ark," Vera answered and dropped her voice low before finishing her sentence, " _and_ Earth."

"You mean…?" Abby matched her volume out of secrecy and also because she could scarcely breathe let alone speak any louder.

"Earth is survivable? Yes."

"Is there proof? Proof I can show the Council?"

Vera's eyes darkened slightly and she slowly shook her head, "No proof unless they are also sensate, Abby, I'm sorry. They would not take it as evidence and that would be even if they knew we existed."

"Sensates… sensates hide?"

"Out of safety, out of fear," Vera quickly checked the deserted hallway they were standing in. "We… have been hunted before, for decades even, and so kept our existence a secret from humans. The less _they_ know, the more of _us_ stay alive."

"More secrets," Abby sighed. "I… thank you, Vera, I have to go, but I want to know more."

"You know where to find me and I can show you a trick."

"What trick?"

"We call it visiting, I'll show you."

"Okay… okay, thank you, Vera, this helps a lot."

Marcus' mother scooped her up into a tight hug for a brief moment, "You're welcome and stay safe. Tell no one of this outside of your cluster or other sensates."

"I won't, I promise."

With one last hug from Vera, Abby turned around and walked as swiftly as she could without raising suspicion to medical. This new information changed everything and she had to move fast in order for her and Raven's plan to work.

It was time to make a deal with Nygel and get the hell out of here to Earth.

* * *

The plan didn't quite work out the way Abby was expecting it to, but she hoped it would turn out for the best. As the ties cut into her wrists painfully, she hoped Raven would make it. She hoped that she didn't send another kid down to die, but Vera's words earlier… that Earth was survivable, had been survivable beat a tattoo in her brain even as Kane berated her.

It had to work, the plan had to work.

If not, then three hundred and twenty people would be sacrificed to give the Ark more time.

' _More time to bicker and decide who lives, who dies_ ,' Abby thought as they all but dragged her to the prison block. Passing a junction in the hallway, Abby looked up and saw a strange man, grizzled cheeked and long greying hair braided back from his face. His eyes were lined with a dark substance and his face smudged with dirt. Their eyes met and for an instant she was back in that bustling market before she was jostled along and her bearings on the Ark returned.

Could that man be one of her cluster?

* * *

Abby coughed, her whole body shaking with the effort as her lungs scrambled for more air than was available. She shivered, wishing she had her coat, and leaned back against the bedpost. No word so far on Raven, not that anyone was willing to share with her that is.

"I should have known you were going to get into trouble."

Abby started at Vera's sudden appearance next to her, though instinctively she knew the woman wasn't actually there. She wilted slightly under Vera's steady gaze, "You know me, Vera."

"Always stubborn," Vera chuckled. "How are you feeling?"

"The migraine is gone, I think I cried myself to sleep last night," Abby answered as Vera sat down next to her on the bunk.

"You must know… your life will start to get strange. I can help guide you, but some things you will have to work out on your own."

"I understand, Vera."

Vera's hand warmed her cold cheek. Abby sighed and leaned into the comfort, even if Vera wasn't actually next to her.

"Good."

"So this visiting you spoke of earlier, what is it?"

Vera smiled and looked around the prison cell at Clarke's lingering drawings before she answered. "Visiting was a term one of my cluster came up with to describe the times we went to one another. Within your cluster, you can access memories, thoughts, feelings, and even knowledge. As you become more comfortable with each other, you can even 'step in' to assist in times of trouble. That's more of sharing than visiting though."

"Can all sensates do this?"

"No, you and I are not able to share knowledge. Only within your cluster can you share while visiting, but we can visit and we can experience physical sensations of the other."

"Once eye contact is made."

"Yes."

"And there's no other way to identify sensates?" Abby asked, her current predicament forgotten as her curiosity piqued.

"I don't know," Vera shrugged. "I suppose there could have been other ways, ways that were lost when the radiation spread across the Earth and all the stations cared about were surviving. For now, though, eye contact is the only way we have of detecting other sensates."

"Hm…" If she weren't in prison, and the Ark weren't failing, Abby almost would have jumped at the chance to look deeper into this. "How do you visit?"

"It's not something you force," Vera stood and extended her hand to Abby. Abby took it and suddenly she stood by the Eden tree, the common area deserted at this time and they were the only two in the room. "Visiting is something you let happen. It's instinctive between your cluster and you. It will start to happen more."

Abby reached out and lightly trailed her hands along the bark of the Eden tree, feeling the rough texture, "I can actually feel it."

"Because I can."

"When I visit you… is it in my head?"

"Yes, and I look like I'm talking to no one," Vera smiled. "The same occurs to you when one of us visits."

"How do I let the visits happen?"

"Open your mind… and let go."

With one last smile from Vera, Abby gasped and sat up on her bunk in the prison cell. Her head swam with the new knowledge Vera shared, but she felt more alive than she had previously. She only wondered who else was in her cluster.


	2. Is It We Who Make the Choice?

The willingness shown to sacrifice their lives for others took Marcus by surprise, and something in the back of his mind nagged at him that it shouldn't have. He had spent so long, so, so long working up the ladder, working to help these people, to help the Ark survive another generation, to live up to his destiny as a transitional generation… that he forgot the fact that keeping everything secret wasn't always the best course.

Before Abby had aired that video, he'd been close to sacrificing three hundred and twenty people who were not volunteers, who did not know what was going to happen, who would have gone to sleep and not woken up. Before Abby, he would have kept it secret for the greater good and to keep the peace.

That was before, this is now.

Now as he watched the volunteers file in, he felt a warmth in his chest. _These_ were his people, _these_ were the people who knew they'd all have to sacrifice something in order for humanity to survive. _These_ were the people like Abby, who hoped. Who had hope that the 100 had survived, that they had enough time.

He wished they did. He wished he'd live to see the ground, to breathe in that air and see all the wonders of the Earth around him.

He turned to see how Jaha was doing and instead of seeing his chancellor, he saw green.

 _Green_.

Never before had Marcus seen so much green outside of the Eden Tree his mother cared for and he could hardly believe it. It surrounded him. Tall, golden-green grass scraped at his legs and waist whenever the wind passed through the long stalks, it ruffled his hair and filled his nose with a slightly sweet scent. In the distance, tall trees, taller than he'd ever imagined in the years dreaming of them, with dark brown trunks and bright green leaves swayed slightly in the wind. Warmth from the sun hit his back and Marcus tilted his head back to soak it in, marveling in the sensation after a lifetime of living in space.

Something smooth and cold slid against the left side of his neck, ending at the artery in his throat. Marcus froze.

" _Chon yu bilaik? Hakom yu kamp raun hir?_ "

The voice was unfamiliar, and so were the words, but oddly enough he could understand them. "I'm Marcus Kane and I don't know why I'm here… I don't even know where _here_ is."

The cold metal (for it was indeed metal, Marcus was all too familiar with the feel of metal against skin) stayed pressed into his carotid artery, the tip of the weapon digging into his skin as its owner stalked around to face him.

Her eyes widened by a fraction in surprise before they narrowed. "You speak the language of the Mountain… are you one of them?"

"The… the Mountain?" He repeated, not sure what she meant. A few beats later, Marcus sharply inhaled when he realized that only one place he knew of had mountains, "You mean, I'm on Earth?"

"Yes," she answered slowly. "You are not from… Earth?"

Marcus forgot about the weapon at his throat as he looked around him, suddenly his vision shifted and every detail now was more important than ever. It wasn't a dream, it wasn't the imaginings of his childhood, _it was real. Earth was real._ He almost couldn't believe it. Instinctively he knew he wasn't physically on Earth, but he could reach out and feel the rippled texture of the ridged long grass in his fingers, he could feel the growing warmth of the sun on his face.

"You are not from Earth?" The woman repeated her question.

"No," Marcus shook his head. "I live up there. Up in space." He pointed up at the blue sky above them.

"You come from the sky? How did you get here?"

"I… I don't know. This feels strange… almost like when I saw that woman."

"Somer."

Marcus looked up and saw surprise and understanding in the woman's eyes. "You saw her too?"

"I did," she nodded. "I am Indra of the Woods Clan."

"Marcus Kane of the Ark… wow," he breathed. "How are we talking?"

Indra sheathed her sword, her hand resting on the hilt as she gestured towards the woods, "This way, out of the open air. It is safer."

Marcus nodded and followed her, trying to keep pace even as he marveled at his surroundings.

"I have heard of what we are before, but I never expected to become one," Indra spoke quietly, her words confident and precise. "My people call them _saikru_. They are people who are able to speak and see other people in their minds."

"Telepathically linked?"

Indra nodded, "A _saion_ , one of us, is reborn into a _saiseingeda_ , or cluster, of other _saions_ that they are able to visit at will, without ever meeting physically. Outside of a _saiseingeda_ , _saions_ have to meet face to face in order to visit."

"So you think we're part of a cluster together?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how many there are in our cluster?"

"No. You are the first I've seen."

Marcus sighed, "Me too. We'll just have to wait and see."

"We will, from what I know, it takes time for the cluster to find out about the other members. I just pray that none come from the Mountain."

"Which mountain are you speaking of, Indra?"

There," she gestured with her chin over his shoulder and he chanced a glance in that direction. Barely peeking out over the tops of the trees ringing the small clearing they'd entered in their discussion, the Mountain reigned over all. Marcus could barely make out something metal at the crest of the top, winking in the crisp sunlight.

"The Mountain," he repeated. "You mean, Mount Weather?"

His cluster mate nodded, "The Mountain is evil."

"Evil?"

"They steal our people. They disappear and either never return or…"

"Or?"

A muscle ticked in Indra's jaw as she clenched it, the hand around her hilt white-knuckled from her grip. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Or they return as Reapers. Beings filled with a bloodlust unlike any of us have ever seen and they attack at random, usually taking more of our people into the tunnels."

"Oh." Marcus saw the pain in her eyes and something clicked in his head along with a flash of an unfamiliar face that filled him with a deep yearning. She had experienced this, she had seen someone she cared about taken and twisted into something she didn't recognize anymore.

Her statement about the Mountain, about Mount Weather being evil, stuck with him as they continued walking through the woods. If the Mountain was evil, and Marcus believed Indra, after all he was in her head, then that meant the kids could potentially be in danger, even if Earth is survivable.

 _Earth is survivable._

Marcus stopped in his tracks as he realized what this meant. Earth is survivable, meaning the people on the Ark, those three hundred and twenty people would die for nothing.

"Kane?"

"Oh no…" The view of the bright green forest vanished and he was back on the Ark just in time to see Jaha press the button that stopped the air in Section 17. Marcus shifted forward, hoping to get the Chancellor to reverse his decision, when a hand on his arm stopped him. He looked down and saw Abby shaking her head slightly as she watched Jaha.

He was confused that Abby of all people would stop him. She squeezed his arm and shook her head again.

"You can't stop him, Kane," Abby spoke, but not physically. Another version of her appeared in front of him, eyes worried and her arms crossed.

He recalled on the feeling he had with Indra when visiting, the same he was experiencing now, and almost couldn't believe that Abby was a saion. Not only that she was one, but also in his cluster.

"Earth is survivable," He answered as soft as he could. "Earth is survivable and these people are dying for _nothing_. Why can't I stop him, Abby?"

" _We_ have the proof, yes," she soothed, "but it's not tangible evidence for them. How would you like to explain where you got your evidence that Earth is livable? From the voices in your head?"

"By telling them what I am!"

" _You. Can't._ That's what I'm trying to tell you, Marcus Kane. It's not safe."

"It's not safe?"

The psychic version of Abby shook her head, "We've… been hunted in the past. The less _they_ know, the more of _us_ stay alive."

"So we do nothing?"

"Not unless we hear from the kids, which is why I've been fighting so hard to delay this until we heard back from Raven."

Guilt hit him like a punch to the gut and he covered his mouth with a hand as he realized everything that had happened. He pushed for this, he pushed for these people to be sacrificed. They volunteered to extend the air on the Ark, but now that Earth was survivable, he was supposed to just sit and let it happen?

"I know this is hard, Marcus. We're all to blame in this."

' _No_ ,' He thought, ' _the blame is all mine to claim_.'

* * *

Abby walked through the hallways of the Ark back to her prison cell in a daze. Her efforts to stop the Culling hadn't been enough. Her pleas for more time, her risky decisions ranging from sending the 100 down to Earth, to airing the recorded message of her dead husband to the Ark as a last ditch effort… hadn't worked. Her shoulders felt heavy, matching the heaviness in her heart and the exhaustion settling into her bones from hours tending to the dead of Section 17.

She passed the door to her quarters, her far too empty quarters and watched the door behind her until it was out of sight. It called to her like a siren of old and she longed to follow, but the light escort around her gently, but firmly pushed her towards the prison block. Abby stepped into the dimly lit cell, the walls still covered in all of Clarke's drawings. She lowered herself onto the floor next to the bed and took them all in, admiring her daughter's talent, another one that she shared with her mother.

Digging into the pocket of her coat, Abby pulled out the data stick Jake used to record his message. Her eyes stayed fixed on the tiny stick, this little thing that had impacted her life so much in the past year, much of it her fault as well as others. She couldn't undo what was done, but she hoped it was enough to help them to survive… to make sure they _deserved_ to survive.

"You're troubled," a strange voice startled her out of her ruminations and Abby looked up and saw the man from a few days earlier. He stood in the center of her cell, towering in the cramped space. Now that she wasn't rushed along to the prison block, Abby got a better look at him. Warm brown eyes, still surrounded by the smudged black, shone over prominent cheekbones. His brown and grey hair worn pulled back from his face in a messy knot at the back of his head instead of the braid she first saw him with. He wore simple, worn clothes, thicker in texture than those she'd seen upon the Ark. The second he realized where he was, he looked around in wonder and awe. "What is this place? Where am I?"

"You're on the Ark… in space." She pulled herself up to sit on the bed as the man turned in a slow circle, a smile spreading across his face and a look of wonder filling his eyes as he took in the blue-grey walls of her cell and the dark lines of Clarke's drawings on every surface of the room.

"Space? As in the sky?"

His smile was infectious and she could feel one forming on her own face, "Yes. We're in orbit above Earth."

"I would like to see more of it, if you can spare the time," he walked over and extended his hand. " _Ai laik Toron kom Azgeda_."

"Doctor Abby Griffin, Chief Medical Officer on the Ark," she put her hand out and he clasped their forearms together firmly. In the back of her mind, she realized he was speaking another language, and she understood it perfectly.

"Chief Medical Officer?" Toron sounded the words out slowly, his English accented as he formed the unknown terms.

"I am… I…" she paused and thought about it. "I help people get better, when injured or sick."

"Ah!" He grinned. " _Yu laik fisa_!"

" _Fisa_?"

"Healer, in our language."

"That's amazing. So, I am speaking your language?"

"Yes, is it not the same for you?"

"No, I hear you speaking English… mostly."

"I see. That is a language our warriors speak, the rest of us use _Trigedasleng_."

"Wow."

"May I ask why you seem troubled?"

Abby debated on whether or not to tell Toron what was going on, but after all he was in her head and would eventually find out. She looked down at her hands and sighed, the exhaustion returning. "The… the Ark is dying. There's not enough air to support all of us. My… husband found out a year ago and was going to go public. I warned him not to, I warned that it would cause panic, but he wanted to go through with his plan of telling the Ark. I went to our leader and mutual friend about what Jake was planning, I thought he would talk Jake down."

"And did he?" Toron sat down next to her.

"He had Jake arrested and he was floated… executed by being sent out an airlock into the vacuum of space," she explained when Toron looked confused. "My daughter, Clarke, was also arrested, but since she was not an adult, she was put in prison instead of being executed. About eleven days ago, she and ninety-nine other teenagers were sent down to Earth to see if it's survivable. I regret telling Jaha about Jake's plan everyday now."

"I am sorry. Is that what are you troubled about?"

Abby sighed, "No. I was desperate to find out if Earth was survivable, something I later found out with another sensate. I enlisted the help of a young mechanic, a person who fixes broken machines, to rebuild an escape pod so the two of us could drop down to the surface. For awhile it worked, but then time ran out and I distracted the authorities while Raven launched. While I was in prison, the council voted on a plan that I was trying to stop."

"What was it?"

"Killing three hundred and twenty people to free up air on the Ark until we found a solution to fixing the problem."

She heard him shift beside her and Abby looked up to see the shock in Toron's eyes, but a look of understanding crossed his face. "Your life up here seems as harsh as ours down on Earth."

"I didn't know there was life on Earth until a few days ago."

"There is life, though the ground can be… hard. Did they go through with the plan?"

"They did… but not as they planned." At Toron's confused look, Abby smiled but it didn't reach her eyes. "Three hundred and twenty people were killed, but instead of taking the lives of those chosen, I made a last ditch attempt to get everyone to work together and aired the last message of my husband where he explained that the Ark is dying and we needed to come together in order to figure it out. I should have had faith in my husband and faith in the people a year ago, but I was scared. Instead of choosing those who were going to be sacrificed, over four hundred people volunteered to die in order to extend the air on the Ark."

"And?"

"And about five hours ago, we did it… we sacrificed three hundred and twenty of them… I knew Earth was survivable, but I had no proof outside of being a sensate. I had no tangible evidence that we could live down on the ground besides being sensate. I couldn't stop it."

"Did they not believe you as a saion?"

Abby shook her head, "Sensates on the Ark are not as free as those on the ground from what I've been told… we live in secret."

"Because of the sensate hunters," At Abby's nod, Toron nodded as well, "I see… What's next for the Ark?"

She shrugged, "Try to figure out the air problem… or die."

"And what's next for you?"

"Surviving until I can't."

"Is that a way to live?"

"No," she smiled sadly, "but that's life on the Ark."

Toron sat in silence, but Abby could feel his roiling emotions. Already this visit was vastly different than the ones with Vera. With Vera, she could feel what Vera felt, but still highly aware of her own existence tethered to a physical body. Toron's emotions felt like they were her emotions, his thoughts spilling over into her head and for a brief moment, Abby existed in two places at the same time.

The sterilized air of the Ark gave way to the rich, earthy scent from the first time she experienced this feeling. The temperature dropped again, but she felt a heat source flickering at her side, the smoky acrid smell of something burning, but not like an electrical short - a thought, not her own, supplied a name - _Faiya_. She looked to her right and saw Toron still sitting next to her, a small smile on his face as she slowly realized what was happening.

"Is this…?"

Toron nodded, the smile widening as he did, "Welcome to Earth."

"It's colder than I was expecting."

"Azgeda resides far to the north, the cold comes off of the lakes. It's a harsher landscape than some other tribes have, but we manage."

"What do you do here?" She asked him.

Toron stood and held out his hand, "I'll show you."

Abby took the offered hand and they left the blazing warmth of the fire behind them as he led her along a dirt path lined with the white powdery substance - snow or _ash_ \- she'd seen before in her previous brief visit. Her hand stretched out before she realized what she was doing and touched it. What she thought was soft was cold to the touch and melted in her palm, turning from fresh white to the crystal clear of water. The sensation was alien to her, but familiar to Toron.

It was weird, experiencing something for the first time and yet already knowing what that experience felt like. Abby couldn't quite wrap her head around it.

"Come, I'll show you something much better than _ash_ , Abby."

He led her further down the path, one that she recognized from her earlier visit before she'd found out about being sensate, the heady spiced scent growing stronger as they walked along. They rounded the corner and a vast bustling market greeted her. Brilliantly colored fabrics, colors she'd never seen before in her life, draped over stalls, shining in the light of torches and firelight. The smell of cooking meat, unlike anything Abby had ever smelled on the Ark with their rations, and the heady smell (emanating from a dark, rich red colored drink offered with the meat "It's _spais souda_ , a spiced wine"), drifted through the market in a haze, making Abby's head swim as she took in all the sights, smells, and cacophony of overlapping conversations in a language that she _shouldn't_ know how to understand, but she did.

"This is _Azgeda_ , these are my people."

She looked around in wonder, amazed at what she saw, amazed that life had prospered on Earth after the nuclear devastation, and that those on the Ark were not alone anymore. They never were, right from the beginning. Toron led her through the market, pausing whenever she wanted to see something, gently explaining the various contraptions, bits and baubles, and tools for sale. It was simply marvelous.

Something cold landed on her nose, shocking her and she tilted her head back. Abby grinned, beaming radiantly as a gentle snowfall started, bright white flakes landing on the heads of the people around her.

"You could stick out your tongue and catch an _ashfleik_ like the _yongon_ do," Toron teased, pointing out a group of children doing just that off to the side of the market.

Abby laughed, her heart lighter than it had been in some time. She raised her hands up, catching the falling flakes even as they melted against her warm skin. "I've only ever read about this. It's amazing!"

"It is," Toron nodded, his eyes kind. "It's also very good for my work. The snow helps with some injuries when mixed with herbs."

"That's what you do here in _Azgeda_?"

He nodded again, "I am no _fisa_ , but I can help with some healing with my herbs."

"I'd love to see it," Abby smiled, already comparing Ark medicine to what Toron has shown her. He motioned for her to follow and they turned to walk when the door to her cell opened.

With a clang, Abby sat back in her cell, Toron gone, and the feeling of melting snow on her skin disappearing in a blink. After the brightness of firelight and snow, Abby struggled to see in her darkened cell block, she squinted at the door to her cell and just barely made out Jaha.

"You should sleep."

' _How can I sleep after what happened?_ ' Abby thought. "I don't think I can," she answered instead.

Jaha sighed and sat down next to her, handing an open flask over.

Abby took it and relished in the burn of the alcohol as it cascaded down her throat. It grounded her, reminding her of the situation back on the Ark. Escaping briefly had been wonderful, but there were still those on the Ark that needed her help. She took another swig, briefly wishing it was the _spais souda_ from Earth, before handing the flask back to Thelonious.

A flicker of light caught her attention and she looked up at the skylight in her cell, at the marvel of Earth below. Her eyes widened as she saw three streaks of red light blaze a trail across the window.

"Thelonious!" She reached over and grabbed his arm, gaining his attention. "Did you see that?"


	3. More Human Than Any Human Ever Will Be

She stepped out of her bedroom into the larger worship center with a sweep of the old heavy woven tapestry used for a door. Already she could smell the fresh clean scent of the _kriousout_ bushes outside of the temple - strong and heady from last night's rain. Tidying up the altar, she swept out some debris before lighting an offering of incense - its crisp burning aroma mixing with the _kriousout_ and the general scent of the desert. After her morning prayer, she briefly entered her bedroom again to freshen up and gather her most precious possession.

The shawl had no value outside of her clan. It marked her status as an _ouspika_ , or priestess, to her people. The dyed threads, though thin and fading in patches, were still vibrant in the years it had been passed down from _ouspika_ to _ouspika_ since the Devastation. It was just an object, but Nix loved it, the bright yellows, blues, and reds intertwining in bold geometric patterns and trimmed the edges of the shawl with tassels graying at the ends. As it settled over her shoulders, it felt like home.

No longer just Nix of the Valley of the Sun clan, she was now _Ouspika Niks kom Kliron kom Deimeika_ ready for a new day among her clan and whatever challenges it would bring. She stepped out of the temple into the early morning sun, grateful that the pain in her head had subsided as she walked along the streets of Yava towards the market. Their _fisa_ had seen to her head and upon hearing that the sharp pain had gone on for days, Willow had one answer.

 _Saion_

Nix had heard the term before; tales of great bonds between people spanning across distances dated back before the Devastation were passed down every generation - their children learned of them from a young age. She just could not quite believe she herself had been blessed with this connection that was older than her people's past and existence. It was a marvel and a wonder at the same time a source of worry. For though tales of the bond shared between _saions_ existed - and they now existed out in the open in her people - tales of _saionstokas_ existed as well. They were more prevalent in the east - in the Twelve Clan Coalition - than her own people, but the fear followed nonetheless.

Various others of her clan passed her as she walked along, many calling out greetings as they went about their morning tasks. Nix smiled and waved in response, a warmth in her chest at the sight of her thriving clan. She rounded a corner and stopped short when the heat of Yava abruptly shifted to cool metal walls and an unnatural bluish-white light.

Nix did not like it. The walls felt too close, the light hurt her eyes, and the cold seeped through her shawl and light dress; the floor was cold through her sandals, making her feet ache the longer she stood there. The people walking around her were subdued - their faces drawn and sallow - as they bustled around the hallways of this strange place. A vast contrast to the content dispositions of her clan, these people hurried around by some unseen force to work out of necessity, their movements almost bordering on desperation. There was a sorrow to them, a hushed sort of sadness that Nix wanted to ease. She knew that there was no way to help these people - not when she was not actually here.

"You're new," a voice startled Nix from her observation and she turned to see another woman with long black hair, and beautiful - but sad - brown eyes. This must be one of her _saiseingeda_.

"How did you suspect?"

"The clothes, they stand out," the woman gave her a one-sided smile and Nix had to laugh. "How did you get here?"

"I do not know where _here_ is, but I am not actually here, I think."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that we must be bonded - _saions_ \- and because _you_ are here that is why I am here also."

" _Saion_? You mean this is in my head?"

"Ours," Nix nodded. "We are connected."

"You're sure it's not because I'm most likely suffering from pulmonary toxicity and you're a hallucination of my own making?"

She grinned - she liked this woman's humor. "No, I am certain I am not a hallucination. I am Nix of the Valley of the Sun Clan."

"Callie Cartwig of the… Ark Clan?"

Nix laughed again as this Callie ducked her head with a bashful smile.

"Fear not, my friend," she reached out and squeezed Callie's arm (Callie gasped at the physical touch), "I have no knowledge of your Ark Clan. Where is it?"

"We're in space."

Nix tilted her head to the side, "Space?"

"Yes, space," Callie nodded and took her hand, "Here I'll show you!"

Callie's fingers were cold against hers and Nix couldn't help but shiver as the Ark Clan woman pulled her along; she led Nix to a vast clear window in the metal walls and Nix suddenly looked down upon her home in all its blue and green glory.

"It is beautiful," she breathed. "I… the ground has always been full of wonder and beauty, but I have… never seen it like this."

"I've only ever seen it like this; I dream of it - I dream of what it's like."

"Come," Nix squeezed their still joined hands and pulled, "I will show you!"

The cold metal of Callie's home ( _The Ark_ , a thought not her own supplied her with the name) melted away and the familiar dry heat enveloped them as she eagerly tugged Callie along the streets of Yava. The Ark Clan woman stumbled slightly as she followed Nix, but Nix could feel her growing excitement as they climbed the red-orange rocks surrounding the settlement.

"This is Yava, my home," Nix proudly proclaimed as she opened her arms wide - her shawl stirring in the breeze.

"It's… very hot," Callie panted once she had joined Nix at the top.

"It is the desert, it is always hot."

"And absolutely gorgeous," she bumped shoulders with Nix and rejoined their hands as she watched more of Yava wake. "This is Yava, hm?"

"Yes, my home and the main settlement of my clan."

"How many other clans are there?"

"There are eight clans in the west - including mine. The Coalition - _Congeda_ \- to the east of us has twelve."

"And they've been here for years?"

"Since the Devastation if the stories are accurate."

"Amazing… to think we could have come down and survive…"

The cold of the Ark returned and Nix shivered as Callie leaned her forehead against the window overlooking the ground - _Earth_. The intense sorrow Nix noted earlier returned - rolling off the woman next to her in waves.

"What is it, Callie?"

"It just…" the woman sighed and Nix laid her other hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't seem fair - to find out Earth is survivable after we had to cull over three hundred of our own people to give us extra air."

Nix squeezed Callie's shoulder, "I am sorry to hear of this for your people."

"Have yours ever had to make decisions like this?"

"Yes. It happened a lot in the early days after the Devastation and the clans still warred with each other. It is rarer now, but it still happens."

"We have to be cruel to survive, our people learn to be harsh… some days I wonder if it's all worth it."

"I believe it is and I can feel that you do too."

"I have to, otherwise I might go mad from the weight of it all."

Nix felt Callie link their fingers together - cold and heat mixing as she felt the warmth of Yava's sun on her head and back and the cold, clear glass of the Ark beneath Callie's palm; Callie held on tight, like Nix was her lifeline as they both gazed down at Earth.

"It has to get better… we have to be better," Callie whispered.

Nix nodded, "It will."

* * *

Indra walked along the outskirts of her home; the village was settling in for another wet night - the winds stirring in such a way that made her wonder if another large storm would hit them before winter truly started.

 _Teimpas_ were known to strike late in the year; Indra did not like them - heavy sheets of rain, wind that howled through the trees, and lots of lightning and thunder that brought danger to her people. She made a note to herself to get Clare and Anya to hunt for extra food just in case, and to gather more herbs for Nyko.

As the torches of her people flickered while night gathered, the natural glow of the woods grew stronger. She had always enjoyed the blue-green light and walked further into the trees - away from her village - so the light surrounded her. Running her fingers along the leaves, needles, and branches of the rough-barked oak and pine trees as she walked, Indra allowed herself to relax and put down the mantle of command (just for a little while). As she did, a familiar feeling at the back of her mind flared and Indra turned to see Marcus Kane of the Ark once again.

"Kane."

"Indra," the man replied and he wobbled over to her - reeking of alcohol.

"You have been drinking."

Marcus nodded and slumped down on a fallen log next to her feet - the soft, wet and decaying wood bowing under his weight. "We… we had to cull over three hundred of our people and I couldn't stop it."

"Was it to save your people?"

"Yes."

"Then it was a sound decision."

"I _pushed_ for it, Indra, I pushed and forgot that those culled were my people too… all in the name of the human race surviving up on the Ark. They were _my people_ and I couldn't stop them being as good as executed when I found out that we can live on Earth."

Indra sat next to him on the log as Marcus put his head in his hands. "Would they not believe you as a _saion_?"

"Sensates aren't out in the open on the Ark, Abby told me right as I was about to stop Jaha. We've been hunted in the past and have to remain hidden."

"Ah," she nodded, "I see. It was the same for us down here for centuries before the Devastation; _saionstokas_ still prowl the shadows here, but the threat of the Reapers and Mountain Men are greater for all of my people."

"The greatest threat my people have is me."

" _Enough_ ," Indra pulled him to his feet and with a lurch they were suddenly in a small, bland room with a large window to her right that overlooked Earth. Marcus stumbled towards a small built-in desk on the opposite wall and Indra pulled him back when she saw him reach for a bottle full of clear liquid.

"Indra-"

" _No_ , Kane, that will not help."

"I think I can be the judge of that," he struggled against her hold, but Indra was well-versed in handling drunkards.

Her grip tightened and she pushed him towards his bed; she stood over him as he sprawled across the furniture. "Drinking that only dulls it, _it does not help_."

"I _want_ to dull it."

" _Shof op!_ The drinking will not help you through this, _facing_ it will help."

Marcus covered his face with his hands and Indra saw his shoulders start to shake as the tears came; sitting next to him on the bed, she sighed.

"I know how heavy it all feels - the burden of command, the weight of your decisions - and I know it feels like you have lost yourself in all of it."

"I have," he croaked. "God, I don't know who I am."

"You are Marcus Kane, a leader and a warrior," Indra pulled him up into a sitting position next to her. "Facing the consequences of your decisions - no matter the outcome - will help you through this, Kane. Time is also a great healer."

"How does time help, Indra?"

"It teaches you from past decisions. It teaches you to know better - to _do_ better."

"Did it help you?"

"It still is."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair - messing up the slicked back style she had seen before.

"So, this is the Ark."

He let out a silent laugh and nodded, "This is it… would you like to see it?"

Indra pondered his question; as a warrior and leader, gaining insight and intel on an enemy had been drilled into her from a young age, and while _Skaikru_ were not all on the ground, their young were… and the young were causing trouble for her people in their ignorance. On the other hand, this was the home of Marcus, one of her cluster (more than one if she had heard him correctly earlier about this "Abby"), and she wanted to see how he and his people had survived this long so far from the ground.

"Yes," she finally answered. "Show me your home."

* * *

Jac scrubbed at his face - no matter how many times he rubbed his eyes, he still saw the repeating equations burned on his eyelids. With a sigh, he put his tablet down and let his head fall into his hands; it seemed pointless to continue to work when his home was dying, but he'd never been one to just sit by idle.

The Ark seemed colder today and he jumped when something wet dripped onto the back of his neck.

' _What was wrong now?_ ' he sighed and looked up to find the leaky pipe - only to stop and stare up at the tall, dark, moss-covered tree above him.

"Holy shit," he whispered as a grin spread across his face. He marveled at the way the branches moved in the cold breeze - even if several droplets of freezing water fell on his face.

A soft chuckle startled him and Jac looked to his left to see a woman sitting on a fallen log; a bow between her booted feet, a dark gray scarf covered her long black hair (braided back away from her face), and she hid her smile behind a hand. She reminded him of Callie and oddly enough, Jac felt like he knew her.

"Uh… hi."

" _Hei_ ," the woman replied. " _Chon yu bilaik_?"

"Sinclair, I mean, Jacopo Sinclair," Jac held out a hand, "my friends call me Jac."

"Almi of _Tripakstoka_ ," she reached out and clasped his hand in hers - he could feel the callouses on her palms and fingers. "You can understand _Trigedasleng_."

Jac shrugged, "Sounded like English to me."

Almi grinned as she walked closer to him - settling on a stump not far from where he sat under the tree. "So… you are one of my _saiseingeda_."

"Is that what we are?"

"Yes, and it is not just us - we have others in our cluster."

"How do we find out?"

At this Almi shrugged, "Time? I do not have much knowledge of _saions_ , nor how we find the rest of our cluster."

 _Time_

"Figures," Jac muttered.

"What is it?"

"Time," he smiled at Almi. "The one thing I don't have enough of."

"Why?"

"My home is dying… and we're running out of options to help."

"I am sorry to hear that, Jac."

She was sincere - he felt it, he knew - and he was grateful for her calming presence.

"It's… it's a new reality I'm learning to accept, but I could hear some good news."

"You are in luck, for I have good news."

"Oh?"

Almi nodded and a soft smile crossed her face, "My daughter is getting… oh what is the word you use? Bonded?"

"Uh… bonded how?"

"To her _houmon_."

"Oh!" Jac grinned. "Married, she's getting married!"

"Yes!" Almi returned the grin. "She is getting married."

"You must be so proud."

She nodded, "Breida is the light of my life, and Pia's."

"Pia is…?"

"My _houmon_."

Jac smiled, "I have a wife too. When is the wedding? The ceremony for the marriage?"

"Today - tonight, actually. You could come if you want to."

He laughed, "I'd like that. Thank you, Almi."

"Did that news help?"

"A little. So… this is Earth?"

"Yes, is your home not like this?"

The dark forest shifted to the smudge walls of Engineering and he was sitting back at his desk instead under a tall tree; Almi perched on a nearby empty desk and he had to bite back the laugh as she turned slowly - her dark eyes taking in every detail surrounding her.

"Welcome to the Ark, Almi. This is my home - well, it's where I work, technically, but it's home."

"It is… very small."

He shrugged, "You get used to it."

That got him a sidelong look (and a hint of a smile).

"What do you do?" Jac asked. "For your people, I mean?"

"I am a hunter and tracker."

"Are you good?"

Her smile widened and visions - memories that weren't his own - flashed in his mind of a younger Almi tracking and following various prey in the dark, damp, and cold forest she called home. He could remember the feel of her bowstring under his fingers, the way the air moved when he released an arrow, the faint whistle as it flew through the distance between them and their prey - sometimes missing, but very often hitting their target - and a shiver passed down his spine at the sensation.

He needed to find out more about _saions_ and what it all meant.

"You like to tease, Jac. I am one of the better ones in my clan, yes. I showed great promise from a young age. What about you?"

"I fix things, and try to solve problems."

"What problem do you have now?"

"Finding ways to survive, but I'm stuck."

Almi hopped down from her perch on the desk and sat on the stool next to him, "Might I help? I have found that fresh eyes can sometimes see what tired ones cannot."

"I'll take all the help I can get."

Jac pulled his tablet towards her, explaining the different equations as Almi nodded alongside him - understanding gleamed in her eyes in the same way he'd instinctively known what it felt like to shoot a bow and arrow. Neither of them got farther than he had before meeting, but it felt nice to know he had someone new to talk to - it felt right.

Now, he just needed to find the others in his and Almi's cluster before he and the Ark ran out of time.

* * *

Marcus managed to keep his feet underneath him as he showed Indra around the Ark - keeping his voice down whenever they passed other people in the halls (which was frequent). He showed her what Earth looked like from above - the beautiful sight he'd dreamed of until the hope of living on Earth slowly died as the years passed; he showed her the mess hall and faltered when the Eden tree was gone from its usual place (his mother nowhere in sight) - the weight of Section 17 sat heavy on his shoulders. Marcus instinctively knew that his mother and the tree where there - hope and comfort at the heart of suffering.

They neared Medical and he slowed to a stop.

"What is it, Kane?"

"Needles," he whispered. "I'm… Medical and I don't get along."

At that, Indra raised an eyebrow and he thought he saw a faint smile at the corner of her mouth, "What if I want to see it?"

He narrowed his eyes at her - feeling her amusement grow the longer they stared at each other - until he sighed and gestured to the plastic curtain of Medical. "Fine."

Pushing it to the side, Marcus entered the one part of the Ark he didn't frequent; whether it was the abundance of needles or the fact that the doctor who wielded them currently hated him, he wasn't exactly sure the reason he avoided Medical. Part of him figured it might be the guilt - the guilt of arresting Jake, the guilt of arresting Clarke, the guilt of pulling away from his friendship with Abby all those years ago - and he scratched at the back of his neck as the major source of his guilt came into view when he and Indra entered the lab.

His old friend sat by a console, hunched over the radio Jac had patched through from Earth Monitoring as her shoulders shook. A weight formed in his chest - guilt mixing with grief as he watched Abby sob into her hands.

"Abby…"

"Get out," she whispered.

"She is one of us?" Indra asked him quietly as Abby continued to cry and Marcus swallowed hard as he nodded. "What is wrong?"

"I said get out, Kane," Abby snapped. "You and whoever is with you, I'm busy."

"Abby-"

" _Get out!_ " she whirled around and Marcus felt the breath catch in his throat at the amount of raw emotion on her face.

Abby had always been more expressive than him - Jake used to tease that she could never play poker, until Abby wiped the floor with him in a game with a handful of their other friends and he never teased her again. The years passed and their games happened less and less until they stopped completely as their friend group drifted apart, and Abby's face closed off as they traded insults across the council table.

She was not closed off right now as tears streamed down her face - grief etched into every crease while her eyes burned into his across the lab. Every inch of her was tense, like she was ready to pounce as she stood from the stool - her hands clenched into fists by her sides.

"Alright," Marcus finally replied, "alright, I'm leaving, _we're_ leaving."

He left, glancing over his shoulder to see Indra briefly reach out to Abby - who'd slumped back down on the stool and turned back to the console - and Indra's hand hovered over Abby's back before his cluster mate reconsidered and joined him at the entrance to Medical.

"Where are we going now?" she asked him.

"I… I don't know."

His feet led him through the halls of the Ark until he ended up at the Section 17 memorial; he could hear the whispers as the crowd reluctantly parted for him - the Eden tree calling to him like a beacon.

Indra's hand was warm and steady on his shoulder as he looked down at the little tree - the source of hope for many on the Ark - and another hand joined hers. Marcus looked to his right to see his mother standing next to him (Indra disappeared - gone with a flash of lightning and the sharp crack of thunder as the faint voices of her people called her back). Their eyes met and Marcus felt his feet ground a little more than before under his mother's steady gaze.

"Marcus."

"Mom," he sighed. "I… I know I'm not welcome here, but I don't… I don't know who I am anymore."

Vera pulled him close and he laid his head on her shoulder as memories played through his mind of similar times in his past, but shown from his mother's point of view and the same sensation in his head that he felt with Indra and Abby resurfaced as a piece of this new _saion_ world clicked into place.

"You…?"

He felt her nod, "Yes. And as to who you are, Marcus, you are my son. _My son_ , never forget that."

Marcus wrapped his arms around his mother and held on tight, "I won't, I promise."

* * *

Abby jerked awake when the door to her cell opened, but she didn't turn to face it - choosing instead to continue to lay on the cot. Her fingers reached out to trace an outline around one of Clarke's drawings as the guards murmured with another person.

"Leave us," Marcus' voice rose, "she's no danger to me in here."

Abby let out a faint snort of laughter and she felt a thrum of shared amusement ripple across their connection as he stepped into the cell and the door closed behind him.

Marcus Kane was in her cluster and in her head - the universe really had a twisted sense of humor. She turned and watched him stumble in further and sit heavily on the floor next to her cot.

"Just come right on in," she told him dryly - a faint smile crossing her face at his rough chuckle. When he made no move to respond or speak after a few moments, Abby sighed.

"What are you doing here, Marcus?"

His shoulders drooped at her use of his given name and she turned fully on the cot to face his back.

"I had nowhere else to go," he finally whispered.

"Why me?"

Marcus gestured to his head and Abby snorted, "So you came to me because I'm in your head?"

"Indra's busy with the hurricane on the ground and you're the only other one I know in our cluster."

"Indra?"

"She's one of us."

" _She_ is right here."

A new voice cut in and Abby sat up to see the formidable woman from before standing in the middle of the cell with her arms crossed and her dark eyes taking in all of Clarke's drawings. Abby felt her cheeks flush as she recounted the first time she saw Indra - it hadn't been a good first impression, but at the time Abby hadn't been up to any visitors. Marcus seemed familiar with her though, and Abby wondered if Indra had been his first visitor like Toron was to her.

"Storm preparations going well?" Marcus asked and Abby caught a flicker of amusement in Indra's guarded gaze.

In an instant her cell was replaced with a dark and wet landscape; a village surrounded them - a hodgepodge of various buildings and homes with boarded up openings and faintly flickering torches. People passed by them - calling out to others in _Trigedasleng_ as they carried bags and containers of supplies from the buildings down into a nearby underground bunker. Abby caught sight of the words "etro station" on the side of the bunker as Indra spoke.

"The other side of the storm is about to hit, we've reached they end of the calm - the worst is yet to come in the _teimpa_. Your people should be warned, even if my people view them as a threat right now."

"The kids are hunkered down in the dropship," Abby answered Indra. "Or they were when Clarke disconnected the radio."

"You spoke to Clarke?" Marcus turned to her.

She nodded, "It… it was when you came into the lab earlier. I'm… I'm sorry I acted that way, to both of you."

"Grief is a monster each of us faces differently," Indra's hand landed on her shoulder as another Grounder woman came up to them.

"Indra, we need to go."

"We have all the supplies?"

" _Sha_ , I found more than enough herbs for Nyko and Anya has hunted well for us in case the _teimpa_ lasts longer than tonight."

" _Mochof_ , _Kleia_ , I will be there in a moment."

The auburn-haired warrior - _Clare_ \- nodded and left them, herding more of Indra's people into the old metro station as she went.

"I must go."

"Go, be with your people, Indra, and stay safe."

"I will, Kane."

Abby blinked and she was back on the Ark in her darkened cell with Marcus. Silence stretched between them and she shuffled awkwardly on the cot until she slid down to sit on the floor next to him.

"You spoke to Clarke."

"I did."

"How did it go?"

"She blames me for Jake… I can't really be angry with her for it."

He shifted beside her, "It wasn't your fault… with Jake, I mean."

"It wasn't? I knew what he was going to do, I knew what he _wanted_ to do, and I turned him in."

Marcus' hand landed on her shoulder and she looked up - the same haunted look on his face that she knew reflected her own expression.

"You went to a trusted friend for help, you thought Thelonious would talk him out of it."

"Instead he ordered you to arrest my family on charges of treason."

Abby felt his guilt as though it were her own, and in part it _was_ her own. How many times had she replayed those fateful days of figuring out Jake's plan and going to Jaha? How many times had she gone over how it could have ended differently? How many times did she wish that Jake had just _slowed down_ and talked about it with her instead of rushing headlong into what he thought was the right decision?

How many times had she done the same in council meetings to get what she wanted? For every time that she was ultimately right, there were still times that she was very wrong and it burned bridges for her in the past. Her decisions had cost her dearly, and she wondered if everything with Jake and the Ark dying and now her own daughter hating her was the universe was collecting its dues.

"I'm sorry, Abby."

"You were following orders," her hand landed on top of his and she squeezed. "I know it hurt you too… Jake was your friend."

"I don't think we were friends for a long time before all of this went down."

"He still considered you a friend, even when all of us were at odds."

Marcus squeezed her shoulder and smiled. "So… we're in the same cluster."

Abby fought to roll her eyes - trust Marcus to change the subject when he got uncomfortable.

"We are, do you know how many of us there are in it?"

"No, I've only found out about you and Indra."

"I've met another, Toron of _Azgeda_."

He ran a hand through his hair, "So that's four… I wonder how many are left."

"Your mom said we'd find out over time."

At that Marcus laughed, "Yeah, imagine my surprise when I found out my own mother is also a sensate… how did you find out?"

"She was the first person I turned to when I started seeing and feeling things."

"She always did like you better," he muttered, a smile spreading across his face when Abby swatted at his side.

"Marcus Kane, that's not true and you know it."

"You're right, her favorite was clearly Callie."

"That's because I actually behaved, unlike you two," Callie appeared before them as they shared a laugh (they had to laugh or else both of them would break down into tears at everything). "This looks like fun."

Abby's eyebrows rose and she glanced at Marcus - her surprise reflected in his own shocked expression as their other oldest friend sat on the floor in front of them with a grin.

"We're up to five in the cluster."

"Do I make six?" Jac's bright voice startled all of them and he joined them on the floor. "Is that all of us?"

"I met Nix of the Valley of the Sun clan, she's a Grounder much farther west than the ones the kids are dealing with," Callie shared.

"Marcus and I met Indra, she's from the Grounders nearest the hundred, and I met Toron. He's farther north."

"So that's seven."

"And Almi of the Timberwolf clan makes eight," Jac spoke up. "She's way west of the hundred."

"Four on the Ark, and four on the ground…" Marcus mused.

"Has that always been the way these clusters work?" Callie asked.

He shrugged and looked to Abby - who shrugged right back. "I don't know. I don't really know how a lot of this works other than we have a cluster we were reborn into, and other clusters exist. _Saions_ exist out in the open down on the ground, but up here we hide."

"Why?"

"Hunters," Abby answered. "Vera said we'd been hunted in the past and so sensates on the Ark kept the same secrecy that sensates had before nuclear fallout."

"I wish there was someone we could ask more about all of this, I mean, besides your mom, Marcus."

"There is."

All four of them jumped at the new voice and turned to see Jaha standing in the corner - his hands behind his back as he smiled down at them.

"Me."


End file.
